SHYNESS
Confessions Of A Shy Violet
The dictionary defines shy as being timid, distrustful, wary, and bashful. But how does being shy actually feel? For me, it was like living inside of a clear plastic box. I could see and hear life going on all around me, but often felt totally separated from the experience. While other people got together to work, have fun, and share their lives, I spent much of my time alone. I read books, listened to music, watched television, and wondered how it would be to have a big group of friends. I thought I was the only one who didn’t belong, and wondered why I somehow didn’t fit in. The strangest thing was, I was afraid people were looking at me and laughing, but also often felt totally invisible.
Being shy can convince you that you are less valuable, less acceptable, less everything. This is an absolute lie. We compare how other people appear on the outside to what we are feeling on the inside. We think everyone else is happier, more secure and confident. I was astonished to discover that many of the kids at my school thought I was a total snob because I was quiet and kept to myself. They had no idea how terrified I was of to reach out . I didn’t participate in sports or extra-curricular activities for fear of failure and rejection. My one exception to this rule was music. I loved to sing and joined every choir and chorus available. Yet I once didn’t attend my own concert, because I was convinced no one would sit next to me on the bus ride to the event. It was all in my imagination, but seemed very real. As a result, I missed out on a lot of fun!!
Being shy can be overcome in small steps. There are simple things that we can do to increase our feelings of self-worth. First of all, take a good long look around you. There are all sorts of lonely people walking right beside you. Many of us are moving through life with our heads down, not believing anyone cares about our experience. Try an experiment. Look at your classmates as if they were a brother or sister. Does someone look tired, stressed, or sad? Smile and say hello. What’s the worst that could happen? You can do this when you’re out shopping or in a restaurant with your family or friends. Do you see the elderly person sitting alone at the table in the corner? Just smile . It’s not so hard. I smile at people everywhere I go, and almost always get a positive reaction. You don’t need to start a conversation. People simply like to feel connected.
We can also take a good long honest look at ourselves. Guess what? We have all kinds of great qualities we often don't recognize. Are you someone who loves to read or write? You can volunteer to help a child in grammar school learn to read. I’ve done this, and found children to be so grateful for any extra attention. Is art your passion? Use your creative talents to bring joy to others. The possibilities are endless. Are you into sports? Go to some games, cheer for the teams, and ask yourself what you have to contribute. Do you enjoy cooking or baking? Find out if there are any elderly housebound people around your neighborhood who are having food brought to their homes. Do you love animals? See if you can help out at the local pet store or animal refuge.
We all have many gifts inside of us, just waiting to be unwrapped and shared with the world. Don’t wait another day to let yourself shine!
Do you have a story on how you over came being shy? Please email and share it with us.
